The Bottom of the Big Girl Purse

As she waits to meet James, she digs to the bottom of her enormous purse. It had been ages since she'd peered down to see what created all the weight. She really needed to lighten her load.

She found her notebook, the one with all the scratchings and observations, and inside were the poems she'd lost so many years ago...

Lullaby
Sleep soundly…
And know that I am dreaming of you
Be still…
For I am near
Close your heavy eyes…
For my arms will cradle you during your darkest storms
Sleep…sleep…
Cast your cares upon an ocean of slumber
I will protect you
Rest your weary head…
For I am beside you
No solitary moment will ever find you
Sleep…sleep…
Dream only of happiness
I will hold your burdens
In the caverns of my willing heart
Quiet…
Imagine my arms around you
For they are there to shield you
Sleep…sleep…
Do not fear
For I will always be here
In your heart’s deepest memory
This warmth will keep you safe
Until we meet once more
Sleep…


RESIST
Resist the hand that pulled you
Remember its reasons
Resist the shame, know who she is
You saw her, ahead, at the finish line
Resist the temptation to fall
It’s easier to be slower than the rest
Resist the earth who holds your feet
Your weight is already too heavy
Resist the wind. Remember his sting
He knows the desire you keep
He whispered it to you when you pushed him out of the way
Resist the game that winning is
That life is
Resist

“You are your own worst enemy.”


I AM
Among crayons, I am the white one
Among pebbles, I am the jagged stone
Among oceans, I am the quiet stream
Among cards, I am the joker

Among fruits, I am the tomato
Among friends, I am the secret
Among luxury cars, I am the Ford Pinto
Among smiles, I am the sly grin

Among birds, I am the ostrich
Among candles, I am the one you can’t blow out
Among the letters in your hand,
The one you didn’t read was mine.


And after reading those words, images created nearly ten years ago, she wondered why she would have discovered them just now. Why here? Why in this mournful and solemn place? Why admist so much pain and solitude?

She then remembered that all the beauty, all of the peace and clarity she knew so well, was that which came forth triumphantly through all the tragedy.
And she smiled openly for the first time that morning, realizing just how far she went to get back there.