Driving Memories and Starting Over

Snippets of conversation she remembers while driving having made the decision never to talk about it again...
Feeling far better than ever before - all six of her senses begin to catch up.

On Monday, having had the explosive argument she needed to have with all of the people she wanted to, she drove home to her own place. En route, she played heavy, alternative music, allowing the angst and screaming tones to penetrate her brain. As she drove, she made the commitment to never speak on the subject again. Having exhausted all options, all opinions, she vowed never to mention it, and ultimately, never to address the conflagration again. She immediately felt better, resolved. No more. And it was then for the first time, peace settled over her frame.

With this in mind, her senses went on full alert allowing the crowding of old conversation to flicker into her brain. This time, it didn't bother her.

"You look so very beautiful in this light," he said.
Silence
"Do not tempt me."
Tears
Finally, "I won't. Just don't leave."

Synapses fire hurt and pain forward, but are thwarted by the new cooling sensation of reality and newfound awareness. Ah yes, this is healing. Words are just words, says the brain.

Smile.

"I told you so. It was never real. What the hell are you even thinking?"Silence (then smile)
"It was just, well…""Out with it. What's going on?""It was just the way the light fell on the hood of the car. It bounced into my eyes and obstructed my views. Seriously. I had it corrected about a month ago. It took awhile, but the bandages came off this week."
"So"
"It's all good. I can see with both eyes now."

Wry smile and the touch of goose bumps from the increased wind from outside. Shoulders relax and she pushes the now long hair behind her right shoulder. Yes, this feels really good.

"I'm going to beat this out of you if I have to!"
"That's not necessary."
"Why do you feel like that? It makes no sense. He's so…I mean, he's just so damn…" (flabbergasted with rage).
"I know."
"Then why?"
"It was the concussion from all that blunt force trauma, you see. Afterwards, my brain didn't sit right inside the skull – some awkward twist or turn against the wrong plate. One day, I jarred it against the inside of my car door. It wasn't on purpose, but things just sort of shook down the right way. I'm over it."

She smiles as she gets closer to home, a plan already fully formed. It's amazing how clarity and satisfaction often dance together to bring out a more well-lit path. Swallow a drink. Cool water. All it does is ice down the throat. Thank you for that.

"I swear it's not what you think. It was meant to, but I know it was, well, damnit; I don't have to explain it."
"That's okay. It's okay."
"Well, I mean, I don't want you to think. It's not you, it's just…"
"No really, I am fine."
"No seriously, it still matters. You know that."
"Okay. I understand. It can be this way instead."

Smile again.

Her stomach flutters at this and her eyes squint against the setting sun. She sighs pleasantly. This is it – the new part. This is the beginning. And it is then that she grabs for her phone and dials. Who says it has to be lonely on the high road?

To be continued…