Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Cold Memory #2

It was far easier to not know what was going on behind her back. Being intuitive and having the know-how often can become a liability. Ignorance truly is sometimes the epitome of bliss.

A bitterly chill shudder made its way down her spine the morning she found out how to check the messages. It was still incredibly warm outside, but the newest knowledge frosted over her quickly and before she could stop herself, she began to read.

She hated herself for knowing how to do this, how to keep it secret. She loathed the fact that she had one-upped him, always before feeling he was superior in knowledge. She had so desperately wanted to be dominated intellectually - wanted to be outsmarted for a change. She hated using her talents for this twisted combination of good and evil.

She never told him - always kept it in. She wanted to love him anyway, wanted to ignore what she had learned. She never called anyone, messaged anyone. She never told anyone, anything. She grew to despise her sixth sense, the one that sniffed out deception and then had the wherewithal to prove it.

Not calling him out had been a bad idea and she wonders today if it had made her weak, made her more vulnerable than she had intended. Infatuation can make women do such terrible things. Today, she knows better and can again sleep at night.

And she doesn't hate him, even today. Because it is only in knowing the darkest, vilest truths, that we fully understand and come to appreciate those elements in life that are truly beautiful.

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